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Tag Archives: Sexual desire

Do You Always Get Everything you Want from Sex?

07 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by happycoupleuk in Communication in marriage, Marriage problems, Relationship, Relationship Advice, Seductive, Sexy ideas

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Intimacy, Intimate relationship, Relationship advice, Sex, Sexual desire

Old stereotypes made us believe that making love is naturally easy, happens by itself and doesn’t involve too much thinking or talking. We assume that both partners are just supposed to know what to do when it comes to the moment, and then by some magic everybody becomes satisfied. Seriously? Is that what you experience in the bedroom? I wish it was that easy, but the truth is – it is not!

However, way too often we keep our concerns to ourselves, quietly thinking that something must be wrong with us if we are not as satisfied with intimate side of our relationship as we would like to be. Especially if you are a woman. With men it is in a way more obvious when anything goes wrong, not that it is less serious, but in most cases they would try to do something about it. On the other hand, women’s sexuality is much more complex and is only being discovered, that’s why even women themselves often don’t understand whether things are the way they should be, or anything is missing.

Whether you are man or woman, you deserve a happy intimate relationship. It is there to brighten our lives with joy and pleasure, and not leave us in disappointment and forever covered shame. It is about opening up and discovering your own inner personality rather than further closing from the outer world.

A little concern today can build up into a big unhappiness in otherwise happy relationship. You risk to be trapped in the disbelief in your own self, having not understood your body and intimate side of self clearly, prepared to carry your secrets forever. Uncovered intimate needs can create a stronger bond between the partners, but if they are not met they are able to turn any relationship into a painful experience and even ruin it altogether if the problem is not addressed.

What to do if you found yourself in this situation? The only way out if this trap is to Speak Up!

Firstly, you need to know there is nothing wrong with trying to understand yourself better and willing to discover your preferences, desires and fantasies.

Eventually you should bring it up with your partner. But, if talking to your partner was not an easy option for you, then find someone you can trust and can rely on. It can be a friend or even a community of supportive people.

At Scarlet Ladies you can find a safe, trusting environment to share your worries and find out what you can do about them, you can have your questions answered as well as obtain a comfort of being yourself. You will see there are other people out there going through similar situations to yours and it is perfectly fine to be looking for support and understanding. Ladies here meet to discuss exactly what we cannot tell anyone else and feel OK about it. In addition, it is lots of fun and girly chat. Good mood is part of a nature in these meetings and makes being a woman feel easy, while we all know how tricky it can be at times!

The last event was all about how to “Get what you want from Sex”. Together with Dannie we explored how to speak up about our needs and desires, and more importantly not being ashamed of anything and enjoy intimate life.

Olga happycoupleuk.com

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The Mystery of Sexual Desire

18 Sunday Jan 2015

Posted by happycoupleuk in Love, Marriage problems, Relationship Advice, Sexy ideas

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Marriage problems, Sexual desire

Picture @you me

Picture @you me

This common question often arises in long term relationships – how to maintain a desire, how to thrive in the intimate area over the years with the same partner.

Interestingly enough, desire is induced by a completely opposite feelings to the ones needed by love and marriage. On one hand, our relationships are driven by commitment. We value security and stability, while on another hand we are in constant search of adventure, novelty, mystery, risk and pleasure. Imagination and curiosity are following us at the blossom of the relationship, but then become replaced by need of assurance, reliance and certainty in our partners. In modern life partners put so much moral pressure on each other to meet plenty of social requirements, but yet stay interesting and desirable to one another at the same time. There is no expectancy of amazement and wonderment anymore and this is where the life risks to turn into a routine. And it is down to us to realise this and not let it happen.

As the relationship expert Esther Perel suggests, there is a pattern of reviving a desire in partners in the following situations:

  1. When one of them is away. The imagination plays a beautiful game of anticipation of the future events on the partner’s return
  2. When partners observe each other in a different environment, be it, out with friends or in at the corporate event or one delivering a speech. This is when they demonstrate their true personality, they manifest their confidence and radiance at most.
  3. And finally when there is an element of surprise, novelty, unexpectedness. When they can laugh and perceive new experiences together

Sexual desire is not something that simply exists on its own, it needs a spark, it can be driven by a reminder of what it is that draw partners to each other at first place, what makes them intrigued and agitated. A good understanding of partner’s feeling in this regard is already a good place to start, that can be achieved via open communication and expectations sharing.

Remember, that emotional side of intimacy is no less important than the actual act. Explore your imagination deeper and don’t let commonality to consume your intimate power. All of us deserve a variegated sexual life!

Please follow this link to watch Esther’s full video about desire.

Have not met your ideal partner yet?

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