Old stereotypes made us believe that making love is naturally easy, happens by itself and doesn’t involve too much thinking or talking. We assume that both partners are just supposed to know what to do when it comes to the moment, and then by some magic everybody becomes satisfied. Seriously? Is that what you experience in the bedroom? I wish it was that easy, but the truth is – it is not!
However, way too often we keep our concerns to ourselves, quietly thinking that something must be wrong with us if we are not as satisfied with intimate side of our relationship as we would like to be. Especially if you are a woman. With men it is in a way more obvious when anything goes wrong, not that it is less serious, but in most cases they would try to do something about it. On the other hand, women’s sexuality is much more complex and is only being discovered, that’s why even women themselves often don’t understand whether things are the way they should be, or anything is missing.
Whether you are man or woman, you deserve a happy intimate relationship. It is there to brighten our lives with joy and pleasure, and not leave us in disappointment and forever covered shame. It is about opening up and discovering your own inner personality rather than further closing from the outer world.
A little concern today can build up into a big unhappiness in otherwise happy relationship. You risk to be trapped in the disbelief in your own self, having not understood your body and intimate side of self clearly, prepared to carry your secrets forever. Uncovered intimate needs can create a stronger bond between the partners, but if they are not met they are able to turn any relationship into a painful experience and even ruin it altogether if the problem is not addressed.
What to do if you found yourself in this situation? The only way out if this trap is to Speak Up!
Firstly, you need to know there is nothing wrong with trying to understand yourself better and willing to discover your preferences, desires and fantasies.
Eventually you should bring it up with your partner. But, if talking to your partner was not an easy option for you, then find someone you can trust and can rely on. It can be a friend or even a community of supportive people.
At Scarlet Ladies you can find a safe, trusting environment to share your worries and find out what you can do about them, you can have your questions answered as well as obtain a comfort of being yourself. You will see there are other people out there going through similar situations to yours and it is perfectly fine to be looking for support and understanding. Ladies here meet to discuss exactly what we cannot tell anyone else and feel OK about it. In addition, it is lots of fun and girly chat. Good mood is part of a nature in these meetings and makes being a woman feel easy, while we all know how tricky it can be at times!
The last event was all about how to “Get what you want from Sex”. Together with Dannie we explored how to speak up about our needs and desires, and more importantly not being ashamed of anything and enjoy intimate life.