Everyday Aphrodisiacs

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Heightened sexual appetites are not a problem for everyone…if one were to believe everything they read, you would think that people walk around all the time only thinking of sex in some way. While this might be true to an extent, that sex is never far from the mind, sometimes people need a helping hand to get in the mood.

With so many distractions in today’s modern world like smartphones, social media and other technologies, not forgetting increased work pressures, romance can wane a little.

That’s why it can be a nice idea to weave some aphrodisiacs into your diet and the diet of your partner and see what impact it has…you don’t have much to lose…and a lot of fun to gain!

This info-graphic from Carvaka Sex Toys highlights those foods that can heighten our desires without us even being aware of it. It also shows some foods that can have the opposite affect also…Check it out!

Olga happycoupleuk.com

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Do You Always Get Everything you Want from Sex?

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Old stereotypes made us believe that making love is naturally easy, happens by itself and doesn’t involve too much thinking or talking. We assume that both partners are just supposed to know what to do when it comes to the moment, and then by some magic everybody becomes satisfied. Seriously? Is that what you experience in the bedroom? I wish it was that easy, but the truth is – it is not!

However, way too often we keep our concerns to ourselves, quietly thinking that something must be wrong with us if we are not as satisfied with intimate side of our relationship as we would like to be. Especially if you are a woman. With men it is in a way more obvious when anything goes wrong, not that it is less serious, but in most cases they would try to do something about it. On the other hand, women’s sexuality is much more complex and is only being discovered, that’s why even women themselves often don’t understand whether things are the way they should be, or anything is missing.

Whether you are man or woman, you deserve a happy intimate relationship. It is there to brighten our lives with joy and pleasure, and not leave us in disappointment and forever covered shame. It is about opening up and discovering your own inner personality rather than further closing from the outer world.

A little concern today can build up into a big unhappiness in otherwise happy relationship. You risk to be trapped in the disbelief in your own self, having not understood your body and intimate side of self clearly, prepared to carry your secrets forever. Uncovered intimate needs can create a stronger bond between the partners, but if they are not met they are able to turn any relationship into a painful experience and even ruin it altogether if the problem is not addressed.

What to do if you found yourself in this situation? The only way out if this trap is to Speak Up!

Firstly, you need to know there is nothing wrong with trying to understand yourself better and willing to discover your preferences, desires and fantasies.

Eventually you should bring it up with your partner. But, if talking to your partner was not an easy option for you, then find someone you can trust and can rely on. It can be a friend or even a community of supportive people.

At Scarlet Ladies you can find a safe, trusting environment to share your worries and find out what you can do about them, you can have your questions answered as well as obtain a comfort of being yourself. You will see there are other people out there going through similar situations to yours and it is perfectly fine to be looking for support and understanding. Ladies here meet to discuss exactly what we cannot tell anyone else and feel OK about it. In addition, it is lots of fun and girly chat. Good mood is part of a nature in these meetings and makes being a woman feel easy, while we all know how tricky it can be at times!

The last event was all about how to “Get what you want from Sex”. Together with Dannie we explored how to speak up about our needs and desires, and more importantly not being ashamed of anything and enjoy intimate life.

Olga happycoupleuk.com

Romantic Trip To London – an Experience Not to Miss

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Happy Couple Romantic Trip to LondonWhen it comes to romance, there is never enough of ideas and experiences to make it happen. That’s why Raff and I always look for something new to explore, something curious and entertaining at the same time. We love adventure, we love good food (like everybody else I guess) and we love being outdoors in the sunshine (whenever London weather allows 🙂 ).

I thought I would share a few great ideas here on how to combine all those things together and enjoy fun time with each other.

Then when you are looking to move towards something more intimate and magnificent – hiring a limo to drive around London streets at night is definitely the best choice to make!romantic-travel-in-london-infographic 1Olga happycoupleuk.com

Get Your Healthy Self-Esteem Now!

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We all have stories in our head and beliefs about who we are and why, what is true about us and what is not, what our fears and boundaries are, what the expectations of ourselves are. Some of it lies within our conscious mind, while a lot is hidden and programmed in our subconscious without us even being aware of it.  Our subconscious is defined by years of history – childhood, teenage years, adulthood, through years every single event and behaviour of other people in our environment affect our being now. When we build families, we often don’t realise in what way our partner is going to influence our life and decisions, how he is going to shape our world, our truths about certain things and most importantly our own beliefs about ourselves. However, we cannot underestimate the value and impact of the loved person on our life. Believing in yourself is good, but it alone is not good enough when it comes to intimate relationship. Two people in love create a great symbiosis of shared beliefs, values, and views around themselves and this is where the true magic of loving connection lies, when self-esteem of each partner increases with the other’s support, love and care.

Having your own healthy self-esteem supported by strong opinion of your partner can make a real difference in your life. You would be more sure of the future you two are building together, you would have more positive beliefs and aspirations. If you have children, they will be more successful because of growing up in such environment, where everything is possible and everybody in the family fully supports each other.

If you have not yet found your soulmate, you need to understand how important it is to firstly fall in love with yourself and then expect someone else to fall in love with you. If you are confident and respectful to yourself, this radiant signal is visible all around you and people start noticing you, paying attention and being interested in your personality. It all starts from a decision to be that person you always wanted to be. You begin believing in yourself from small steps in any area of life and gradually bring it to a bigger picture of your life journey.

Inevitably, confidence is important in all areas in your life. It will make you a better partner, a better parent and a better friend or a colleague. You simply need to learn to behave confidently and self-respectfully. With personal success comes willingness to help and support others.

Olga happycoupleuk.com

Importance of Daily Rituals

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happy-couple-uk-blog-relationshipA lot has been said about the importance of emotional connection between the two people in love. It almost creates an invisible co-dependency. If your partner is in a bad mood or feeling low, it easily affects you without you even noticing and the same is true the other way around. Unfortunately a negative state often wins.

That’s why we need to remember that instead of dragging each other down, we need to keep this connection in a positive state and only give our soulmate the best of ourselves and be ready to receive the same in return. As nothing else makes the relationship fulfilled the same way as the ability to share the positive emotions with each other. Here are two steps you can take today to make your relationship stronger and happier.

  • There are four crucial moments during the day – when you wake up, before you leave home, when you come back, and before you go to sleep1. Create some rituals or habits around these four times of the day, remind each other of your love and appreciation. It can be anything from a casual kiss, touch or hug to the words “I love you”. It is important to have such routine so it makes you closer to one another and helps forget any disagreements you might have. Those 4 moments in the daily life are great points of connection and positive energy exchange. If you feel low, let your partner lift you up, let go of any worries and just be present together.

    When you reconnect after a long day at work, you would feel a comfort and safety of your loving relationship, which gives you the power to recharge your exhausted self and begin a new day from a more beautiful place than you would if you stayed upset or unhappy about anything.

  • Do something special for your partner on no occasion. Even though it sounds obvious, we often put it aside for far too long, waiting for anything special or significant to happen. According to Jonathan Robinson, author of “Communication miracles for Couples”2 this simple ritual has a great impact on the relationship. Not only it changes the mood at that moment, but it also scores you positive points in your partner’s eyes (which you then can use in your advantage J). Try and start from something small, cook a dinner for her, or buy him a beer after work, or wear a nice dress just for him. Whatever you think makes your partner happy, do it every day, little thing at a time. It all counts.

Book reference:
“How to improve your marriage without talking about it” Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
“Communication miracles for couples” Jonathan Robinson

Olga happycoupleuk.com

2 Simple Ways To Improve your Intimate Relationship

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c927b-happy-couple-uk-blog-sexDo you often skip sex because you are either tired, not in the mood or busy with a million of other things? I guess this situation is familiar to many couples. Time became the most precious treasure of this century. More and more often it does not let us squeeze anything in our busy schedule, not talking about intimacy and true connection with our partners.

However, I believe – stress is over-exaggerated. In reality we got used to life in such a tempo at work, with children, with social activities and hobbies, so it seems we can clearly deal with it all if introduced to a bit of organization. But what about intimacy and love life? Why do we set it aside all the time and never seem to prioritize this indeed important area of our lives.

The secret to including a lovemaking in your busy schedule is to PLAN in advance! Yes! As boring and obvious as it sounds, it definitely works! We all want romance just to happen, spontaneously, out of nowhere. But guess what? Being overwhelmed after a busy day at work, kids and other daily chores, the last thing you would think about is a candlelit evening with your loved one. However, if that was already inbuilt in your plans, and somewhere at the back of your mind you just knew it was going to happen tonight, you would be mentally and physically prepared to it, and hopefully excited as well! 🙂

Do not hesitate to discuss this with your partner and agree on satisfying each other’s needs in the best possible way. We all are different and have different preferences and needs for intimacy and connection. Being aware of those differences between you and your partner is already half way to mutual understanding and harmonized intimate relationship. Many people, especially men often exaggerate their sex needs and complain that their wives do not want it as often. But if they talked about this openly and showed the willingness to know their partner better, they would always be able to come up with a compromise solution that works best for both partners. There is no other way to find out what your partner wants than just ask. Most importantly, not to criticise, but stay on a positive note, saying what you already like in your love life and what you would like more of. Dare to share your own desires and ask what you can do for her to satisfy her needs.

Those two simple principles can significantly improve the quantity and more importantly the quality of your intimate relationship.

Olga happycoupleuk.com

Want to change your partner? Stop and Ask yourself these 3 Simple Questions?

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We often need to stretch ourselves to accept new ideas into our mind. As most of what we do is habitual and happens almost automatically – our reactions, behaviors and responses. In most cases we don’t stop and take time to think about our feelings as reactions to certain situations. We just assume that whatever our reaction it is right, and in a way it defines who we are now, based on our past experiences and observations.

Our mind is highly subjective and self-centered. We look at the world through the paradigm of our own experiences and history from the past. If we got used that loud voice is usually a sign of negativity or anger – we would automatically respond in a defensive way trying to protect ourselves from more hurt coming. It is almost like we carry a big baggage of opinions, judgments and perceptions. Even a slight possibility of those beliefs being challenged makes us panic and seeds a fear of losing our stability in this self-created world.

That’s why we are so hard to change.  I believe everyone had at least once wished to change something in them and even more so in their partner. But look at it this way – how many times have you broken your New Year’s resolutions? How many times you promised yourself to give up that bad habit of yours and never did? This is what you have to understand that your partner is exactly the same! He is not so keen on adopting the new habits or behaviors, especially if he is not even aware of that change needed.

Often we are the first ones to criticize, to point out our partner’s mistakes or imperfections. And we typically think – “if he could just not do this or do that another way, we would be so much happier together”. Of course, there is nothing wrong with finding compromises on some major issues, but in all cases, you have to firstly ask yourself:

  • Does this behavior of my partner really bother me so much so there is no way I can live with it?
  • Could I possibly change my perception or attitude towards this so it stopped bothering me?
  • If it was me who was supposed to change this – how easy would it be?

And only after you have given some thought to the answers to these questions, talk to your partner and explain your needs. Show him appreciation and understanding of his side of the situation first, and then talk about your desires. I am sure he will be much more willing to compromise once he knows he is appreciated and is cared for.

Olga happycoupleuk.com

10 Must do Experiences and Romantic Evening Ideas in London

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1.  River cruise. Not on the Thames as you would think. But on a canal. Very pleasing and exciting experience for water lovers. As the boat are relatively small and low-sited, you feel the connection with nature (just close enough 🙂 ) It is a nice place to cuddle and simply be silent and listen to each other’s heartbeat.The cruises run from Camden Town or Paddington for 1 hours. Don’t miss it while it is still summer outside.

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2. Continuing water topic – Pedalos must be the most amazing way to spend a sunny day in London. You can enjoy some privacy wondering around the park lake, lazy pedalling and enjoying the view. They are available in Hyde park and Regents park

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3. If you don’t like water, you can stay out of it and enjoy it from the side, taking a cycling tour along London canals, starting from Thames in Wapping area, going direction Limehouse, and then to Stratford. Be sure to see lots of hidden and interesting places on the way. Water might be slightly green J but it tinctures the adventure with unique authenticity!

london canal cycle tour

4. Moving on to the evening activities, I cannot skip thousands of bars and restaurants for lovers available in London. I haven’t yet been to all of them, but I am getting there J Even though, it is hard to pick one. I liked this place Nightjar for Jazz music, pleasant relaxing atmosphere and incredible choice of cocktails!

London nightjar jazz

5. For Jazz and other rather classic music fans – you can have a look at what’s on in St. Martin  church – basement in there looks more like a canteen, but with nice food and wine, and a big variety of music evenings to choose from.

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6. Another music and bar is Wilton’s music hall – a rather hidden building in East London (close to Tower Hill) has music nights from creative artists of all sorts

7. Zoo Late. Have you ever had a fun night at the Zoo? Usually you only have a chance to visit Zoo during the day, sharing experience with lots of happy (screaming) kids! While now it is available till late night! Offering drinks, food, and a possibility not only to see the tiger, but to look like one yourself!

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 Yes, that’s us and yes, we look ridiculous! 🙂 But who cares.

8. Salsa Dancing. There are plenty of schools in London and even more clubs that offer salsa nights. We dance at Loco London Salsa and find it amazing and very joyful experience, as well as going to Rueda in the Hyde park. Open air salsa dancing, summer style! Why not!?

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9. Burlesque show. South bank is always a place to be, especially in summer. Particularly nice in the evening with the street lights on and various shows going on.

 

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10. Limousine night. I had talked about it earlier. It is an amazing and veeeery romantic time spending in a big city!

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Enjoy! Let me know if you have any other intriguing adventures in mind! 🙂

Olga happycoupleuk.com

Making It Through vs Exceptionally Happy Together

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happy-couple-uk-blogI like the scene in the movie “Couples retreat” when one of the couples talk to the therapist, they said “we are happy, meaning we are making it through (marriage)”. Even though it is a typical Hollywood comedy, it can teach us a lot about loving relationships. Making it through is not a bad way of handling a partnership, but is it happiness in abundance?

Seemly the same definitions uncover a completely different perspective at a closer look. Only a small gap differentiates the two, which in reality makes a huge impact on a marriage or partnership than it seems from the first sight.

The thing is, most of the time people when fall in love, experience romantic excitement and emotional splash, but then… decide they need to settle down and become serious. They learn living, planning and arranging life together, taking care of the kids and daily chores and more often than not, they succeed in it. However, in the process they risk to lose themselves as lovers, as those who were once madly in love with each other and could not wait to get hold of each other. They become too rational, predictable, serious and somewhat tedious.

Why is this happening?…

Because many couples neglect the simplest, yet the most important thing in loving relationship – emotional connection. In the beginning of relationship, we are interested in each other, we spend hours talking, expressing our feelings, giving comfort and support to each other, easily trusting and relying on each other. While with relationship evolving and stabilizing, we underestimate the need of getting in touch with each other’s feeling, anxieties and discomforts. Of course, then things are running smoothly, it is hardly noticeable, but if one of the partners goes through any difficulties in life, deep emotional connection and support from the other partner can make a big difference and help cope with any situation.

Therefore, I encourage you to make it your daily priority to connect with your loved ones, hear what they have to say, reach out to them, show them you care and prove you are always there for them whenever they need.

Olga happycoupleuk.com

 

5 Questions to Ask Yourself in Order to Improve Your Relationship

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stock-footage-happy-couple-drinking-wine-and-eating-salad-in-the-kitchen-at-home-footage-in-high-definitionA lot has been said about your partner meeting your needs in the relationship, how to chose the “right” partner, how to make sure he or she suits all your demands. But what about making the relationship lasting, how you can be sure that your partner would be the same tomorrow as he or she is today. Everyone changes, especially under the influence of another person, and with time relationship routine might look completely different to the one it was in the beginning. The idea though is, to make a change to the better rather than worse. Sadly, a common perception of marriage is that with time romance fades away and relationship becomes boring and tasteless. The truth is – it will happen… only if you let it to.

But if you shift your focus from expecting your partner to make you happy to making your partner happy, you can create a positive change in your relationship without any talks or therapies. You shouldn’t question whether your partner would be the same forever. Instead, make it your mission to make your partner’s life better today and then… repeat it every day. And you will see how it can change his or her behaviour. By giving your best to your partner, you create the will in him or her to give the best in return.

The questions you should be asking yourself are:

  • Am I leaving in agreement with my core values and beliefs? If loving relationship is important to me, am I focusing on it enough?
  • What am I experiencing in my relationship and if anything is missing?
  • How good am I as a partner? Meaning: do I give everything I can in this relationship, or do I expect more from my partner then I can provide myself?
  • How can I be better for her or for him? Could I be more caring and attentive in order to make my partner happy?
  • Is there anything else I could do for her or for him that I am not doing yet?

By asking yourself these questions every day, you can improve your relationship one step at the time and make a steady progress over time.

Olga Happycoupleuk.com